Tease and Denial

Tease and Denial

Reviewed by Dr. Sunny Rodgers
on May 18, 2021

Tease and Denial is the sexual technique of bringing your partner close to orgasm and then stopping or reducing stimulation to prevent that orgasm from occurring.

There are various ways to incorporate this technique into many different sexual practices. Stimulation can happen to any part of the body that provides your partner pleasure, but most often it is centered on genital stimulation so that orgasm is a distinct possibility.

Tease and Denial techniques can be incorporated into manual stimulation (hand jobs and fingering), oral stimulation (fellatio and cunnilingus), as well as vaginal and anal penetration. Because tease and denial is situational and dependent on personal sexual interests, these techniques can be used by people of any gender or sexual orientation.

For some, the appeal of tease and denial is prolonging pleasure for your partner, as well as incorporating edging into your play. The longer they can be held back from orgasm, the more intense that orgasm might be—both physically and psychologically. Their need and craving for release will grow and grow until they are permitted to reach climax. Generally, tease and denial will play out over an extended period of time, whereas if it is over a matter of hours it is referred to as “edging.”

For people with penises, prolonged teasing and denial of orgasm, coupled with allowing the penis to become flaccid and then become erect over and over again, can sometimes cause a greater amount of cum to be ejaculated once orgasm is allowed.

The word “allowed” is often significant when discussing tease and denial techniques because it is a popular addition to different types of BDSM scenes. A Dominant can incorporate physical tease and denial techniques with other practices, such as humiliation, scolding, bondage, and impact play to further intensify a scene.

An added element to BDSM-related tease and denial is what happens if the submissive does begin to orgasm—accidentally or willingly. In these cases, the Dominant may choose to stop stimulation at a crucial point, resulting in a ruined orgasm and potentially some form of punishment that has been negotiated and agreed to in advance.

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